Shamus died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly.
The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Mick and Paddy.
The three men had always done everything together...
Mick arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet,
Mick said, 'Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over'
The mortician rolled him over and Mick said, 'For sure dats not Shamus ...'
The mortician thought this was rather strange.
So he brought Paddy in to confirm the identity of the body.
Paddy looked at the body and said, 'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up..
Roll him over.'
The mortician rolled him over and Paddy said, 'Dats not Shamus '
The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?'
Paddy said, 'Well, Shamus had two assholes.'
'What? He had two assholes?' asked the mortician.
'O yes sir,, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say:
'There's dat Shamus with them two assholes.'